Sunday, November 30, 2014

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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Ancient Journal Entries II

Just for kicks, I've decided to share some old journal entries from my childhood exactly as they were written (except for changed names for people mentioned). Any commentary from the present is in [brackets].

May 19, 1997 (Age 8):

In the garden, I have cucumbers goin growing. But they are dying. They are about four in. tall and were fun to grow. [That was the start of my abusive relationship with plants. Not a one has survived in my care since.]

May 30, 1997 (Age 8):

I am starting cursive! It is going to be fun! [Now refer to the next entry below which is my first one in cursive.]

June 13, 1997 (Age 8):

Mom is doing a lot of things im [in] the kichim [kitchen]! It is fum [fun]! [Hadn't quite got the hang of cursive 'n's yet....]

June 23, 1997 (Age 8):

I an [am] getting better and better at cwrsive [cursive]! Ue [We] borroued [borrowed] a swberben [Suburban] Swmday Saterday thru Momday. [See how good I was getting? Now not only my 'n's and 'm's were switched, but my 'u's and 'w's were also! But I was oh so proud....]



[I also was signing off on most of these entries as "L.A. Gear" which I thought was much more dignified than my actual name. (And it might have had to do with the cool shoes I had with that name emblazoned down the side.)]

Ancient Journal Entries I

Just for kicks, I've decided to share some old journal entries from my childhood exactly as they were written (except changed names for people mentioned). Any commentary from the present is in [brackets].

May 13, 1997 (Age 8--the very first journal entry of my life):


One day Rick, Ken, and I were jumping with the Smiths and I got a boost and my knee went flying up in the air and hit me fair and square in the mouth. [What eight year old says "fair and square"?] I jumped off the trampoline and I held on to my mouth. I had hit my front tooth crooked, but it turned out all right. The next day it still hurt but I noticed that it was pushed over to the left and so my tooth on the right could move over! And so I'm Glad that it happend. [Yay, for accidents! However, this method of tooth rearrangement didn't stop me from needing braces later on in life.]

Saturday, January 4, 2014

FREE New Contemporary Romance Today!

My latest book, a contemporary romance, is FREE today! Release is free for a very limited time, so be sure to check it out!

Click here to find Release on Amazon

"The stunted town of Gresham, Montana, doesn’t prove to be the hiding place Helen had anticipated. The door she thought she had closed on life—both past and present—is wrenched open again…and again. What are the real intentions of the elusive pianist next door, and why does her long-distance employer take a sudden interest in her life?


When friends and enemies collide, Helen’s wounded heart is exposed, and the battles she’d left behind come to the forefront. Encountering old and new faces alike brings her to a crossroad she never would have dreamed of. Does she choose the familiar, safe but lonesome, path, or does she listen to her heart?" 

Click here to find Release on Amazon



Monday, November 18, 2013

Rock This Parenting Thing Book Blitz & Giveaway- 6 Winners in All!

Ever wonder if you are the only one going through crazy stuff when it comes to parenting?

We have 6 authors here who assure you that you are not alone.

Welcome to the Rock This Parenting Thing Book Blitz, showcasing 6 of the hottest humor parenting books from 6 authors who have been there, done that, and gotten the freaking T-shirt wrote the book about it!

This book blitz features 6 authors, tells about them, their books, their blogs, and gives you a taste of their parenting humor with an Author Interview for each. Then, once you get through all of that, you can enter to win a copy of your favorite book listed here! There will be 6 winners in all for the giveaway (many of the prizes are SIGNED copies of the books), so definitely check that out!

Grab a cup of coffee (or glass of wine), sit back and enjoy the Rock This Parenting Thing Book Blitz! Each author is showcasing this post today, so be sure to hit them up and show some love!!

Tatted Mom's Guide to NOT Screwing Up Your Kids by Morgan Moss, from The Inklings of Life

About the book: Motherhood is chaotic. Some days are filled with unicorns and fairy dust, and some days the unicorn craps on your brand new rug and the fairies are flying around, crashing into walls. Mainstream parenting books help with the unicorn and fairy dust days, but what happens when your kid drops the f-bomb in a crowded grocery store? That's where Tatted Mom's Guide to NOT Screwing Up Your Kids comes into play, tackling situations in motherhood that you were definitely not warned about. Think of this book as your manual to the parenting problems that leave you throwing your hands up in the air, wondering if you are the only mom who goes through this craziness, and has you hiding in the back of your closet with a bottle of Moscato and a cheesecake (we've all been there).

About Morgan: Morgan is a tattoo artist turned stay-at-home-mom by day, ninja assassin by night, mother of 2, ages 11 and almost 9. She is the creator of The Inklings of Life humor parenting blog which was recently named a Top 10 Mom Blog of 2013 by the parenting website VoiceBoks. Many of her parenting and motherhood articles have been featured on sites such as the Huffington Post, Babble, WhatToExpect.com, Mamapedia, Parent Society and BlogHer.com. She is a trained tattoo artist, and spends her free time creating mixed media art.

Author Interview:
What inspired you to write your book?
My blog readers. When I started blogging, I thought I was just like every other mom out there, and there really wasn't anything special about the way I parented my kids. As comments and emails started coming in from readers, thanking me for my honesty about parenthood, or saying how they would have never thought to handle a situation the way I did, I began to figure out that I thought way differently than most moms. Many readers asked me to compile my thoughts into a book, so I did. I also wanted other moms to know that they weren't alone when their kid shouted out a cuss word in public, or lied to their faces, or banged their head against the wall during a temper tantrum. A lot of moms don't tell about the bad days. I say, Why the hell not? That's when the funny shit happens.

What do you do when you get writer's block?
I cheat off other people's papers. Sometimes it's the news, sometimes it's mainstream parenting sites, and every now and then I'll hit up some of my favorite blogs to read and see what they've been saying lately. I'll spend some time scouring the internet, just seeing what new information is out there, and 9 times out of 10, I catch one sentence that sends my brain into overdrive. That 10th time out of 10, I stare at the wall, shut my computer, get up and walk around, open my computer, shut my computer again, drink a glass of wine or 2 more cups of coffee, stare at the wall, and repeat process until something pops into my head. This is way less effective, by the way.

Will there be more books in your future?
Yep yep. Since my book only covers up to the tween years, I've already had several reviews come in, wanting me to make sure I write a book once I get through the teenage years. Considering that's still a few years down the road, I've had some ideas for other nonfiction parenting books, and my mom has asked me to collaborate on some fiction books with her (she's an author, too). There's no telling where you'll see me pop up next.

You can get your copy of Tatted Mom's Guide to NOT Screwing Up Your Kids from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Nook, and Createspace. You can keep up with Morgan's craziness over at her blog, The Inklings of Life, and connect with her on facebook and twitter.


Musings of a 20-Something Mom and the Perils of Being a Mommy Blogger by Jenny Schoberl, from Holdin' Holden

About the book: One of the largest trends among Moms today is to jump on the internet and immediately regurgitate all the magical, wonderful things their child has done in the past two hours to the first unsuspecting victim. Moms are everywhere; they've even taken over Blogging. Hundreds of blogs about how Fluffy got his first tooth, or Muffy said a new word. It's enough to make people want to vomit sugar. I've been told that I’m not your typical mom, and my blog is not your typical blog; I've even been called the "Eminem of Mommy Blogging”, honest, blunt, and usually vulgar. This book is my experiences and stories as I ventured through the Mommy Blogging world, trying to make light of some disgusting situations, and it wasn't always pretty. I had to learn the hard way that blatant honesty may not always be the best policy... not if you want to keep your kids. Musings of a 20-something Mom is a lesson on how NOT to blog, unless you want to piss off your friends, family, and get a pack of crazies chasing after you; and a reminder that when it comes to parenting, there's always going to be someone out there saying "you're doing it wrong!"

About Jenny: Jenny Schoberl is a 29 year old professional musician, turned stay-at-home mom, hailing from Southeastern Virginia where she resides with her husband and crazy children. She spends most of her days chugging coffee and trying to keep up with two young sons. Dubbed “The Howard Stern of Mommy Blogging”, Jenny spends her time regaling her readers with stories from throughout her life and writing things that she hopes will one day embarrass her kids.

Author Interview:
What inspired you to write your book?
It was New Year’s Eve and I had never had a resolution before, so in a drunken stupor I said “Hey, I think I should write a book!” Once I’d sobered up, the idea stuck with me. I’d been bullied and judged, all because of how I chose to speak about parenthood, and people didn’t seem to think you could have a sense of humor once you’d dropped a kid from your nethers. I wanted to write something for ANYONE out there who had ever felt judged, alone, or like no one understood that when they said their kid was being a “shithead”, it wasn’t something cruel. It was funny. And true. Plus, every parenting book I’d ever read was totally full of crap.

What’s one piece of parenting advice you’d like to share with parents?
TRUST YOURSELF. There will be so many people out there with a bajillion different parenting styles who will try to cram advice down your throat because they swear to the grilled cheezus it is the “right” way. No one thing works for every single kid, and there is no one right way. Remember that at the end of the day, they are YOURS and no one else’s, you know them better than anyone else, and therefore you will always know what is best for them. Follow your gut; it rarely lies.

Will there be more books in your future?
Absolutely! Book #2 is already finished, and if I could marry an inanimate object, I would walk it down the aisle tomorrow. I also have two more books in the works! It would appear that my brain won’t shut the hell up.

You can pick up your copy of Musings of a 20-Something Mom, and the Perils of Being a Mommy Blogger at Amazon or through Createspace. You can catch up with Jenny's latest shenanigans at her blog, Holdin' Holden, and follow her on facebook and twitter.


Social Mania Mom by Tracy Heath

About the book: Tracy’s a social media nut, and she’s not afraid to admit it. This book is full of zany Facebook posts she’s written over the years, compiled into categories like “Ain’t Got No Maid,” “Toddler Talks,” “Crazy Tracy 101,” and much more. As a housewife and stay-at-home mom, she always has something silly going on that demands documentation.

About Tracy: I may not be super mom, but I’m super good at seeing the funny side of life in the midst of the chaos. I’m a wife, mother of one toddler boy, mediocre housekeeper, lover of Korean dramas, and dedicated author in the wee hours. My life is good.

Author Interview:
What do you do when you get writer’s block?
I mostly wander around bumping into things. Writer’s block seems to affect more than my brain—though that’s severely disturbed, don’t worry. But the rest of my body suffers, too, until a wild hare of inspiration attacks, and I leap and bang my way across the house for a session with my faithful, duct-taped-together laptop.

What’s one piece of parenting advice you’d like to share with parents?
Everything you’ve ever heard about parenting has been contradicted by someone or other, so when it comes to you parenting your own children, go with your heart. Your love (and your tough love) is what matters most.

Will there be more books in your future?
Oh, yes. The writing bug bit me good. I have a romance that will be released by the end of the year, and more humor books are sure to come because life just won’t stop being funny.

You can get your copy of Tracy's ebook, Social Mania Mom, through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Kobo. Get updates from her by checking out her website, Tracy Heath Publications, and by following her on facebook and twitter.



Kids, Cuddles and Caffeine by Edmund Farrow, from Dad's Dinner

About the Book: Ever wondered what being a stay-at-home dad is really like? Well, the hours are long, the holidays are rubbish, the pay's a joke and there's heavy exposure to toxic biological waste. On the plus side, there's daily fresh air and exercise, a steady supply of hugs, relatively little stress, strong job satisfaction and an army of amusing minions. You also get to play Hungry Hippos and call it work. Mixing parenting advice and humour, Kids, Cuddles & Caffeine tells the story of one housedad's struggle to remain chirpy in a world full of sleep-deprived women and toddlers with toilet issues. Anyone who's ever looked after small children will find plenty to chuckle about.

About Edmund: People meeting Edmund Farrow for the first time tend to think of him as tall, quiet and generally harmless. Then they learn he's a housedad, has a physics degree and is a lay preacher in the Church of Scotland. One way or another, this usually makes them afraid... Edmund has been a full-time cook, butler, cleaner, playmate and personal assistant to his three children since they were babies. When it comes time for them to choose a nursing home for him, they'd better pick a nice one or there'll be trouble.

Author Interview:
What inspired you to write the book?
The original idea was to encourage other housedads. There aren't that many of us in the UK, which can lead to isolation. It turns out, though, that just about everyone with kids needs a little encouragement from time to time. Being a parent isn't difficult but it can be hard. Whether you're employed, at home, a mum or dad, you're sure to find some reassurance in Kids, Cuddles & Caffeine (and quite a few laughs).

What's the one piece of parenting advice you'd like to share with parents?
Every child is different. Just because a parenting strategy worked for your neighbour or your mother-in-law or for Angelina Jolie there's no saying it will work for you. Don't feel bad - try something else instead. (Unfortunate flip side: Just because a strategy worked on your first child, that doesn't mean it will work on your second. Believe me, I know.)

What has been your funniest parenting moment so far?
When my daughter was two, she filled her underpants with loose change and then couldn't figure out what to do next. She wandered around the house, looking forlorn... and clinking quietly to herself.

Get your copy of Kids, Cuddles and Caffeine at Amazon and on the Amazon Kindle. You can keep up with our UK stay-at-home-dad over at his blog, Dad's Dinner, and on facebook and twitter.



Baby Bumps by Amy Sprenger, from Snarky Mommy

About the book: Wearing her highest heels and hottest pregnancy jeans, Amy Sprenger marches into her doctor’s office, latte in hand, ready to finally see whether her baby is a boy or a girl. When the doctor instead tells her she has an incompetent cervix, Amy does what any woman would do. She becomes immediately offended. Is this just a politically correct way of saying her cervix sucks? Unfortunately, as she’s soon to learn, it’s a lot more than that. The only way to keep that baby from falling out on the sidewalk is for her doctor to stitch her cervix closed and for Amy to stay in bed for the next four months. Living by the adage that laughter is the best medicine, Amy fumbles her way through a series of sometimes serious and usually embarrassing situations. And just to be clear, using a bedpan qualifies as both serious and embarrassing.

About Amy: Amy Sprenger is the author of the award-winning blog, SnarkyMommy.com, where she tells it like it is and isn't afraid to make fun of herself or her questionable parenting prowess. She has three kids under eight and a penchant for getting herself into ridiculous situations. A former news and sports reporter, Amy lives with her husband and children in Chicago's Lincoln Park neighborhood where she silently judges all the other parents.

Author Interview:
What’s one piece of parenting advice you’d like to share with parents?
Ignore the “experts.” No, seriously. Parents-to-be do an insane amount of preparation reading and talking and researching for the coming of the baby and then it pops out and they’re all, “What?! The?! Hell?! Is?! This?!” If an “expert” tells you to do something, your baby will immediately sense this and will thwart any attempt you make to follow directions. If the doctor says let him sleep through the night, the baby will wake every thirty minutes like clockwork; if the lactation consultant says to wake him to eat every two hours, he will sleep eight-hour stretches and refuse to open his mouth to nurse. This tiny dictator knows reverse psychology at the ripe old age of one week and will use it to handily defeat you. My best advice is to follow your gut, not whatever the “experts” say. Unless it’s my advice, of course, because I know everything.

What’s the worst piece of parenting advice you ever received?
“Sleep when the baby sleeps.” No no no no nooooo. When the baby is sleeping, that’s when you take a shower, shove food in your piehole, start a load of laundry, check your e-mail, peruse Facebook, scroll through your Twitter feed, contemplate whether the baby-vomit stain on your shirt can be ignored, and pee in peace and quiet with the door closed BY YOURSELF. Unless you already have another child at home, in which case you will narcoleptically fall asleep the second your newborn’s eyes close, only to wake up in a puddle of drool on the couch cushion and your two- year-old throwing books at your head while yelling, “Mommy! Wake! Read!”

Will there be more books in your future? 
My second book, Over My Dead Potty, was released this fall. A short collection of humorous essays about potty training, it’s meant to be read in the amount of time any parent has to read for fun, which is to say, in three-minute bursts while you hide in the bedroom from the restless natives who have taken over your living room. I am also finishing up my second full-length book, which is called Yes Mommy. I didn’t say no to my kids for a month and chronicled the experience. Not giving anything away, but I’m still clearly alive, so you know it didn’t actually kill me. It just felt that way most days.

You can pick up your copy of Baby Bumps at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords and iTunes. You can keep up with Amy at her blog, Snarky Mommy, and on facebook and twitter.


Sharing Moms Madhouse  by Sharon Ruggieri, from Sharon Moms Madhouse

About the book: Sharing Moms Madhouse is a humorous look at my daily life with a husband, six kids, a dog, a cat and how we rarely take anything very seriously around here. There's something funny always happening since none of my children were born mute or shy. I don't always handle every situation correctly, but they get handled. Oh, and most of the stories are sprinkles of the truth since we all know that socks can't talk back and the walls don't really cry.

About Sharon: I’m a married mom of six. Five boys & one girl. In that order…and no, we weren’t trying for the girl. After two years of posting my children’s antics on facebook, I started blogging because my friends told me I should write a book about the, why make money off a book when you can blog for free, I always ask. I fired the lawyer and put the therapist on permanent retainer. We have a perpetual clogged toilet and a cat who likes to pee on the beds. Anyone is welcome to stop by for coffee anytime between the hours of when I'm awake to when I'm not.

Author Interview:
What inspired you to write your book? Is it bad if I say money? Truthfully, after spending two years blogging I realized that because I had always had a desire to write a book, writing a book about my family would be a first start.

What’s one piece of parenting advice you’d like to share with parents?
Everything you do makes a memory. If you can't find the humor in something, at least try to remember that whatever you say or do can and will make an impression on your children that may last forever.

Will there be more books in your future? I'm currently working on my second book. I'm in the rough draft phase now and this will be a complete departure from my blog or from my first book, however, I have every intention of making sure that books three and four stay true to the Madhouse blog. I have been and always will be a writer of all things humor.

You can grab your copy of Sharing Moms Madhouse at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Lulu. You can catch up with Sharon at her blog, Sharon Moms Madhouse, on facebook, and on twitter.


Okay, everyone, now's the huge giveaway you've been waiting for! Each author above has contributed one copy of their book to this giveaway! There will be 6 winners in all! The first winner randomly chosen will have the first choice of 1 of the 6 books listed here. Once they have chosen their book, we will randomly draw a 2nd winner, who will have a choice of the 5 remaining books. 3rd winner will have choice of the 4 remaining books, and so on, until 1 book from each author has been given away!

There are multiple ways to enter, and daily entries, so be sure to come back or visit the other authors' blogs!

Giveaway is for 6 books in all, with 6 winners, each winner receiving 1 book from 1 author. Included are:

~1 Signed Paperback copy of Tatted Mom's Guide to NOT Screwing Up Your Kids by Morgan Moss
~1 Signed Paperback copy of Musings of a 20-Something Mom and the Perils of Being a Mommy Blogger by Jenny Schoberl
~1 Ebook copy of Social Mania Mom by Tracy Heath
~1 Paperback copy of Kids, Cuddles and Caffeine by Edmund Farrow
~1 Signed Paperback copy of Baby Bumps by Amy Sprenger
~1 Paperback OR Ebook copy of Sharing Moms Madhouse by Sharon Ruggieri

Good luck!!

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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? I don't know. Here and there, I suppose. :) But, no. Really, I've been writing lots and just not blogging about it! I have so much in the works right now, but I'll save some for another post.

So the announcement for today is that, a few weeks ago, I published another humor book--Social Mania Mom! It's a collection of one-liners from my Facebook pages. Any mom should be able to relate and get a hoot out of the jokes since they all center around my stay-at-home-mom life.

Here are a couple of select lines for your enjoyment:

"I ponder why I always have holes in my socks as I sprint out to the trashcan in my newest pair. This shall always remain a mystery to me."

********

"Sam is standing at the sink gargling salt. Little Buster, always the imitator, is standing beside him gargling his banana."



It is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Kobo!



Monday, July 8, 2013

Updated Books!

I forgot to share that I've updated my two Country Misadventures books! They have new covers and titles. Check them out! Click on the links to go to the Amazon page and read the descriptions.